A man can be himself only so long as he is alone.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Welcome to my blog. My name is Joshua; Joshua Euonymus, the son of Gaia. I was born in the early seventies at the Niederrhein, the northernmost German part of the river Rhine. My mother just turned eighteen when she gave birth to me. My father was only one year older. I wasn’t expected and my parents had to drop their youthful wild lives to get married before my birth. I think it totally ruined the dreams of my father, and the carefree days for both were over. Much is said about the advantages and disadvantages of becoming parents in teenage years. But not so much is said about the effects on children. I believe that my destiny was written before I was born. The fact that my parents were so young had lasting consequences for my emotional life; and theirs.

I was always extremely introverted; developed depression and anxiety when I was young. I had no hobbies like the neighbours boys. Instead I developed a passion for books, music, photography, history, philosophy and nature. I created my own little fantasy world within the four walls of my room. During my teenage years, when others went out and explored their boundaries, I sat alone dreaming the days away. I lived much of my life in solitude.

I had no business with school and saw it at a waste of time. Even though I did complete high school and went to university later, I saw neither use nor value in what I have learned.

I hope to use this blog to connect with others on an emotional, philosophical, spiritual, inspirational, social and political basis. My work reflects my deepest emotions, views and believes; it’s melancholic but often carries a light within. I write, take pictures and play music, paint and create with the wish to document my experiences. Every scar and every wrinkle I carry is a story of my life. I have a passion for life, decay and death, and a fascination for chaos and order.

I am living in a-world-within a world. I am a poet who can’t write. I am an author who has nothing to say. I am a photographer with no vision. I am a philosopher with no answers. I am a musician with no rhythm.

So I rhyme and write, I capture moments and emotions, and I ask a lot of questions.

Last but not least I want to mention that everything I create is dedicated to my friend Chris, who was and remains for me seabluedreaming. Chris was there for me in the darkest moments of my life. I will never forget him. May he rest in peace.

Thank you very much for being here. Please subscribe and stay with me on my journey through past, present and future.

You also can email me. Please send your email to seabluedreaming@hotmail.com